Your pre-threesome communication with your partners should be exhaustive.īefore you and your partner have a threesome, you should have talked about it so much that you’re tired of talking about it. When the third leaves, your intimacy issues will still be there. “If you’re having a threesome because sex is boring, you need to address why the sex is boring before you bring in the third,” Ortmann says. David Ortmann, a San-Francisco- and Manhattan-based psychotherapist and sex therapist, says couples who turn to threesomes often do so in an effort to put a Band-Aid on unresolved intimacy issues. (Actually, maybe do that no matter how good your sex life is.) What you shouldn't do is expect a new sexual experience to magically solve your problems.
You could carve out a night for absolutely nothing except an oral-sex marathon. If your partnered sex life is suffering, you could have an adult conversation about how your needs aren’t being met. A threesome will not "fix" your relationship. For all those in relationships considering having a threesome, here are six things to know before you dive in.
Hot threesomes happen, but they take preparation and communication, and not everyone is ready to successfully venture into the mystical land of group sex. They’re probably somewhere in Alaska or Iceland, and the narwhals just won’t tell us where.) The person who is eager to show up and fulfill both your and your partner’s sexual fantasies and then disappear without a trace is likely, well, a fantasy. (I refuse to accept that unicorns do not exist at all. But the title gets one thing right: Like unicorns, enthusiastic guest stars in couples' sexual adventures are hard to find. Yes, "unicorn" is a problematic term for a person who joins a couple for a threesome (they're a person, not a sex toy or prop).